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Old 04-28-2010, 12:16 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Ten Most Uncool Wheels for Your Ford

Through the years, forums etiquette has nearly written itself with regard
to automotive websites like FordMuscle. One example is, it's a good idea
to keep "thumbs down" opinions about paint color and wheel selection to
yourself when commenting on a fellow Ford enthusiast's ride. Telling
someone in the forums "I wouldn't have chose that wheel" is almost like
saying their wife or girlfriend is ugly... it doesn't do anybody any good.
After all, wheel selection, paint, or any exterior add-ons, are
all a matter of taste, even if you and I both know the offset on those
slot mags are all wrong for the car.

However, leaving proper etiquette on the golf course, some of us are
willing to sacrifice our own popularity for the sake of preventing a fellow
enthusiast from making a fool of themselves. Like me. So after polling some of the FM staff and a few of our regular contributors, here's an unofficial list I gathered of the most uncool wheels for your Ford.

10. Chain Store Universal Wheel Cover

They're available at every auto parts chain store and even Wal-Mart. These ABS plastic wheel covers don't look good on a 1986 Buick Century or even in pieces beside a K-Rail.


9. Smoothies

Yes, I know I'm going to take some heat for this one. However, these
U.S. Wheel Smoothies are just too "cute as a button" for Ford muscle. Ding Dong.


8. Mustang II Wheel

Like an aborted Magnum 500 conceived by gothic parents, it's fortunate the 4 lug pattern of the Mustang II wheel prevents it from being bolted up to most Fords. Still, these things can find there way onto a Fox body Mustang.


7. Any OEM Mopar Wheel on a Ford

The common 5 on 4.5" bolt pattern of Ford and Mopar can allow for some
wacky interchanges. On rare occassions it can work, but for the most part any Mopar wheel on a Ford usually doesn't pass the test.


6. White 8-Spokes

Another popular model from U.S. Wheel, the White 8-Spoke looks OK
on real off-road 4-wheel drive vehicles, but not on a Ford street machine.


5. Gold and Chrome Directionals

Designed to look fast, "Directionals" are best sent in one direction only...
North of town to the metal recycler.


4. Enkei White Alloys

Retro is cool except when you put these pre-1988 white Enkei alloys on
anything other than a mini-truck or a Saab.


3. Neglected Steel Wheels

I guess rat rods are popular, but when taken to an extreme, pure neglect is very uncool.


2. Chrome Trailer Wheels

At first glance these things look OK but after a bit more study, trailer type wheels are just chrome versions of the off-road oriented White 8-Spokes in number 6 above.


1. Dub Dueces and Beyond

Do I need to say anything?


Top Three "Guilty Pleasures" for Your Ford - Wheels We Hate to Love

3. Vectors

The Duke boys used them and so did B.A. Baracus. What's not cool about a Vector? Surprised we don't see them used more often here on FordMuscle.


2. Center Line Auto Drag Wheels

They certainly say 80's but these classic centerlines will always be cool.


1. Slot Mags

Once they were everywhere, now they're not. That's just what makes slot mags the ultimate guilty pleasure in wheel selection.
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Last edited by Mikelonis; 04-29-2010 at 10:20 PM.
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Old 04-28-2010, 02:16 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Ten Most Uncool Wheels for Your Ford

haha, great.

i have to say though, i dont think theres anything to be guilty about when it comes to a set of slot mags.. one of the best looking wheels ever in my opinion.

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Old 04-28-2010, 03:50 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Ten Most Uncool Wheels for Your Ford

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Old 04-28-2010, 04:59 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Ten Most Uncool Wheels for Your Ford

WAAAYY back in the day, those chrome smoothies were the "thing". Why? Probably because they were a bit difficult to make. One had to have some serious connections to have a stock wheel chromed. They certainly caused a sensation when first seen---whatever that is worth. John--Las Vegas.
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Old 04-28-2010, 05:18 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Ten Most Uncool Wheels for Your Ford

I gotta say I agree with your choices Jon... and especially about the "guilty pleasures". I dont mind the chrome smoothies on some cars though. I have seen a lot of examples of modern wheels on a classic car that make you cringe.... a prime example of this is ANY chrome or gold plated "Dub"or "spinner". Whoever came up with these two wagon wheel like monstrosities needs to be beaten with a road-gator until bloody and senseless.

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Old 04-28-2010, 06:05 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Ten Most Uncool Wheels for Your Ford

Don't forget Keystone Classics!

http://carphotos.cardomain.com/ride_...067_medium.jpg
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Old 04-28-2010, 09:22 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Ten Most Uncool Wheels for Your Ford

I got a pair of Smoothies, and you may say its uncool, but I think they will look cool on my 63 ranchero.
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Old 04-28-2010, 09:40 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Ten Most Uncool Wheels for Your Ford

I tell ya you got it all good but the smoothies and this one.

Quote:
The Duke boys used them and so did B.A. Baracus. What's not cool about a Vector? Surprised we don't see them used more often here on FordMuscle.
They're not too bad I guess but B.A. Barracus drove a CHEVY and the Duke boy's drove a Mopar... I'd not put them on my Ford for those two simple reasons You did mention something akin to my sentiments in #7 with this one

Last edited by FEandGoingBroke; 04-28-2010 at 02:39 PM.
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Old 04-28-2010, 09:41 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Ten Most Uncool Wheels for Your Ford

I actually like the smoothie WITHOUT the hubcap...There are tons of modern wheels much more hideous looking than some of those 10 in my opinion..
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Old 04-28-2010, 09:51 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Ten Most Uncool Wheels for Your Ford

Quote:
Originally Posted by frdnut View Post
I actually like the smoothie WITHOUT the hubcap...There are tons of modern wheels much more hideous looking than some of those 10 in my opinion..
glad someone else thinks they are ok
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Old 04-28-2010, 10:42 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Re: Ten Most Uncool Wheels for Your Ford

I vote to add Craiger SS to the list!!! Their time has come and gone!!! Also anything billet is looking a bit dated.
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Old 04-28-2010, 11:46 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Re: Ten Most Uncool Wheels for Your Ford

gotta disagree on at least the Smoothies and Oval slots. both are classic, timeless and 'period correct' for many Fords. i thought you could never go wrong with Centerlines?

does 'Chrome wheels, fuel injected and steppin out over the line' not apply to Fords?

my wheel choice for my 72 Ranchero is Slotted Mopar cop steelies with Baby Moons... is that a 3 strike multiple offense?

i sold my slots and i'm kickin myself, but they were 14's

yeah, the Vectors have kinda been 'niched', and Cragars are kind of a chevy wheel IMO, but the Keystones can look darn good on the right car, even a Ford. i don't believe i've ever heard anybody Eeeew the the Mad Max Interceptor wheels? they look darn close to the spoked/trailer wheels in Black, i don't really care for them much in White but have seen them on a couple cars and yeah, ya know they're cheap but they looked sharp


Last edited by elwood; 04-28-2010 at 03:31 PM.
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Old 04-28-2010, 12:02 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Re: Ten Most Uncool Wheels for Your Ford

I have to say that the centerline auto drag ( as long as its a "normal offset") are the some of the best looking. Dated or not! (can you tell im biased???)

Have to agree with the wagon wheel look is just hideious no wheel should ever have gone beyond 19" . And that "stretch a rubber band around the wheel" on ANY rim is just stupid. Even race cars dont have aspect ratios that low...

You forgot i think the single most un-cool wheel.
Spinner anything.....
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Old 04-28-2010, 12:08 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Re: Ten Most Uncool Wheels for Your Ford

My car is white so I rock the white 8 spokes they look great
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Old 04-28-2010, 03:50 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Re: Ten Most Uncool Wheels for Your Ford

I love Slot Mags!!!
Ansen Sprints are my favorites.
If they made them for my 05 they would be on it.
Not yet though.

But like was mentioned it is a matter of personal taste.
I get discouraged myself looking for wheels.
The newer Space Wheels as I call em just don't appeal to me.
And the Wagon Wheels...
Well that's a whole different rant.

Rich Sr.
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