did i make a terrible mistake??????? - Ford Muscle Forums : Ford Muscle Cars Tech Forum
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post #1 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-25-2003, 12:47 AM Thread Starter
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did i make a terrible mistake???????

the other night my fiance and i were talking and it got intense enough where i wasn't letting her get to the door. she lost it and kicked me really hard in the nuts with her boots on. i got so angry and i did my natural reflexes. i think you know where this is going already.

i smacked her in the face and i didn't mean to do it. i could not believe i had smacked my fiance but either could i believe she kicked me in the nuts. i was in pain for a long time.

did i do wrong? it was such not intended. what can i do to make it up to her? she told her dad and her dad is pissed at me and told her not to see me anymore (call off the wedding of course). what can i do guys please help? i love this girl.



HEY I THOUGHT THIS WAS NON-TECH TALK??????? LET'S TALK OTHER THAN CARS.



replies and opioins would be greatly appreciated.


olie
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post #2 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-25-2003, 12:53 AM
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did i make a terrible mistake???????

She Kick you in the balls "Nuff Said"

and she will do it again I'm sure, But you must control your temper
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post #3 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-25-2003, 12:58 AM
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did i make a terrible mistake???????

I've been married for 20 yrs. You were wrong not to let her walk out. Women are taught to protect their rights at any cost. The man "usually" has the upper hand in a slugfest and is therefore considered the "bully" in this situation. The smart thing to do in a heated argument is for one partner to leave the premises. That's where you made your first mistake!

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: bluestreek on 1/25/03 1:02pm ]</font>
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post #4 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-25-2003, 12:59 AM Thread Starter
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did i make a terrible mistake???????

do you think she really do it again? in the beginning of our 3.5 year relationship she did start off hitting and kicking me like it's nothing but she's stopped that. just until lately she has no shame in hitting me or really kicking me when we argue. i'm basically affraid to stand infront of her when we argue.

i know i should of controled my temper but what was i to do. she jeoperdized my multiplying. i was in pain and she kicked me with boots on. it was so incidental, what can i do?

DOES ANYBODY THINK I SHOULD CALL HER ONE NIGHT AFTER? if not how long should i wait to call her? or do i wait for her to call?



olie
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post #5 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-25-2003, 01:04 AM Thread Starter
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did i make a terrible mistake???????

bluestreek,

i realize that now. with being with her almost 4 years now, i realize that i don't like arguement to stay heated. i usually like them to last a while and then cool down and make up at the end. that worked in the beginning and it's not anymore.

but she is so erragant and shameless that she would scream in the middle of the night and have absolutely no shame speaking loudly and having other people hear our conversation. in even public, she'll publically annouce basically that i don't want to share the same "dairy queen" ice cream and she does. she'll pubically yell at me. and she DOES NOT think while shes angry anymore, like she doesn't care. in the beginning she would calm down and think. now she just doesn't care and just wants to say and do whatever, such as kicking me in the nuts.

wasn't she wrong hitting me in the nuts?
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post #6 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-25-2003, 01:04 AM Thread Starter
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did i make a terrible mistake???????

who's going to agree with me that she did wrong as well and it wasn't all me?
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post #7 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-25-2003, 01:30 AM
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did i make a terrible mistake???????

well, she shouldnt of kicked you and then stick around to be hit. Both of you are to blame. I just cant get over that you stuck around with such a witch after all that all these years. Leave her alone for awhile, and see how it goes. If she has done it before, and she will always do it, picture yourself married to her, and then she bags you and you hit back, and she files assult charges, you'd loose everything, even though she kicked/hit you first. Think long and hard if you want to be married to an abusive partner. Cops dont take lightly to wife abuse even if she starts it and you back hand her and leave a mark.

Rick

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<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: dark7068 on 1/25/03 1:31pm ]</font>
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post #8 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-25-2003, 01:38 AM Thread Starter
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did i make a terrible mistake???????

how long should i leave her alone? it's going to be extremely hard because my daily routine evolves around her. my routine is go to school, go to work, go home and be with her for the rest of the night until the day starts over. now she's not going to be sleeping with me at my place, she's back at her place at nights.

all my friends have the same routine as i do so i don't get to see my friends much or time. its gonna be hard to find other things to do. what could i possibly do? well i can stay at work late and do more customers brake jobs, suspension, and tune-ups but that would begin to drag on my work on my own time.

i can imagine being with her forever as long as she doesn't hit me. she's really not that abusive, she just hits me whenever she doesn't like something. when i say hit i could also just mean by pushing me or shuving me.

what can i do?
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post #9 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-25-2003, 01:57 AM
 
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did i make a terrible mistake???????

Well, I think it was wrong for her to kick ya in the "nads" I still have a problem with hitting a women at any level?

Tough call?

Maybe just wear a cup next time you talk with here face to face?


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post #10 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-25-2003, 02:02 AM
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did i make a terrible mistake???????

I think the best thing to do would to let her calm down, and her folks too. I tell you if any guy hits my girl, instant death, no matter the reason... If you two were meant to be together, I would let her have her space until she's ready, and then both of you need to seek counselling if you want the marriage to work. You said you hit her too, so you both need to control the anger and find out a way to stop it before you both get hurt real bad by this. You can always pass your time finding a hobby, or getting with friends, or just sitting in the room quietly, it does wanders.

Best of luck....

Rick
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post #11 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-25-2003, 02:05 AM
 
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did i make a terrible mistake???????

Aren't women fun?... I think patience is the key to a relationship with a woman who is really arrogant (I would know......) If you really want to keep the relationship going, just apologize, personally, I think the gender gap breaks when the nuts are kicked, maybe she meant to hit your shins? Who knows. Just say sorry, nothing wrong with doing it soon, she'll undoubtedly try to ignore/avoid you. Just get your message across and leave it be until she accepts. As for hitting her? You probably shouldnt have, but, you DID get kicked in the nuts, and that leaves a guy pretty pissed off... When an argument gets that raised with my girl (only happened once) I grabbed my keys, shook them at her, so she knew where I was going/doing, and left for a while. Patience man, patience.

Good luck, and remember
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post #12 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-25-2003, 02:20 AM Thread Starter
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did i make a terrible mistake???????

well i called her at her folks and she said she didnt want to talk or see me for a while. my heart was broken but i did tell her i was sorry. she was trying to pretend she didn't know i was saying sorry for. i told her it was for slapping her. my small ego came out and said "i said i was sorry, something you don't know how to do, especailly first".

she said we need time to be apart and she wanted to be alone. i hope this time isn't long cuz i'm aching without her. she did say its not going to be for a day or two. i'm hoping only for 3-4 days.

well this weekend i could always just stuff myself with food, then pump up the muscles and repeat the cycle over and over and over again. or i should be smart and just fall asleep until school/work comes around again. or maybe i should go to the local adult video store and keep myself occupied. , not a bad idea though. i am use to having it everyday and 1/2 the time we're together mostly.

olie
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post #13 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-25-2003, 02:23 AM
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did i make a terrible mistake???????

Whenever me and the miss get into it, She always gets very emotional. Im very good at controlling my temper nowadays (broke my hand a few times hittin walls back in high school) so I tell her to either talk to me like a human, or she can leave till shes cooled off. A heated argument never ends, it just gets worse. Just let things cool down, try and talk it out, and if they get heated again, just split off till ya can talk again. It'll either work or it wont, and if it dont, its time to move on. Too many other people in the world to fight to make a relationship work when its pretty much not working anymore.

Those that say it cant be done should say so quietly, so as not to disturb those who are doing it.
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post #14 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-25-2003, 02:31 AM
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did i make a terrible mistake???????

Quote:
On 2003-01-25 01:04, XolieX wrote:
bluestreek,

i realize that now. with being with her almost 4 years now, .....

wasn't she wrong hitting me in the nuts?
Yes I think she was wrong with the "nuts" incident, but it was probably just her female instincts, or something she was taught for protection and just got carried away like you did. 4 yrs is about how long it really takes to get to know someone, but people do change over time. I would say that you can apologize just to clear the air and then decide if you can live with her temper. My wife does not have a temper, but really knows how to push my anger buttons in a heated argument. When she does, I usually end up going for a drive, or either punching a whole in the wall or something, and later feel stupid when I have to fix it.
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post #15 of 44 (permalink) Old 01-25-2003, 02:58 AM
 
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did i make a terrible mistake???????

Quote:
On 2003-01-25 02:20, XolieX wrote:
well i called her at her folks and she said she didnt want to talk or see me for a while. my heart was broken but i did tell her i was sorry. she was trying to pretend she didn't know i was saying sorry for. i told her it was for slapping her. my small ego came out and said "i said i was sorry, something you don't know how to do, especailly first".

she said we need time to be apart and she wanted to be alone. i hope this time isn't long cuz i'm aching without her. she did say its not going to be for a day or two. i'm hoping only for 3-4 days.

well this weekend i could always just stuff myself with food, then pump up the muscles and repeat the cycle over and over and over again. or i should be smart and just fall asleep until school/work comes around again. or maybe i should go to the local adult video store and keep myself occupied. , not a bad idea though. i am use to having it everyday and 1/2 the time we're together mostly.

olie
I drove 1000 miles in a week after my girlfriend broke up with me... We got back together 2 months later. we've been together 6 months now We're absolute best friends, and thats what keeps it all together, she loves cars too, and she sees nothing wrong with getting a new set of shocks for her birthday Something my mom always told me, since she married her best friend (2nd time anyhow..) "Partners come and go, but you always come back to your best friend" Olie, just make sure she knows your sorry, and go beat the living hell out of your car until then, it'll get your mind off it while you're driving, and later when you're fixing what you broke

I really wish you the best of luck Olie
Dave
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