Btsave, in a general sense, what you're experiencing is generally 'normal'. While a modulator (if installed as asked) is included, the shifts will be a bit softer at light loads, but not substantially. When driving a built trans, you develop a driving style to compensate, realizing that a loaded chassis will actually feel like a softer shift. In this case, leaning a bit on the throttle at shift points softens the feel. Worst case is backing-off the throttle, where it feels like you were hit in the bumper with a sledge hammer.
However, if the shift is too harsh, I would ask TCI for options to solve the issue. A modified performance trans should shift firmly and shove you in the seat at any throttle, but it should not 'bang' without benefit - if you see what I mean. If not shifting properly, the trans can release one gear at light load before applying the next, like clutching a manual trans. This can feel like a bang. Is there any momentary RPM increase or a softening of acceleration between gears at light load?
In the mean-time, I would find someone with performance driving experience to feel your trans. Perhaps a local car club member. They may be able to confirm if it's a hard 'normal' or if it's banging excessively. There is a difference.
David