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so today at work this dumbass really got to me. total dumbass. i'll probably think about it all day and then again all night at work.

anyway this guy tried to tell me that
a buddy of his in 1.5 hrs can put a carrera engine into an 85 porsche 944 and run a 9.2 with an out of the box untouched crate carrera motor.
AND..
that he knows some body who custom makes superchargers that can give up to 275 horsepower increases on a stock motor. this person makes the supercharger (and i emphasize that it is a supercharger) that mounts onto the header and takes exhaust gasses and reuses them. HELLO DUMBFUCK THATS A TURBO?!?!?!
this same custom "supercharger" person custom built himself one for his lighting and picked up 300hp with nothing else. this guy also sells them for right around $1,000

AND!!

he also tries to tell me that his mid 80's toyota tercel with a custom chip and a racing cam (22r engine by the way) is pushing 150hp at wheel. HOWEVER ... he can't spin the tires because his gear ratio is too low. aww poor baby ITS GOT LIKE A 4.10PLUS GEAR IN IT WHY CAN'T YOU SPIN THEM YOU MORON??!?!?
my maverick with a shitty transmission and stock 2.79's will smoke em.

AAAAAAAAAAAND...
he once owned a 71 mustang mach 1 with a modified 351 that he got up to 195 miles an hour. he was in kansas and didn't see a soul for miles and miles so he wanted to open it up. so he is just sitting here on the country road revving the engine... when a "local" in a 67 camaro ss with a blower sticking out of the hood pulls up next to him and revs.. they raced for 27 MILES!!!!!! and when this dumbass put his mach 1 into... SIXTH GEAR!!! and punched it he just left the camaro in the dust. um... okay.... MACH 1'S DONT HAVE SIX SPEEDS!!!!!!!!! and then he got sick of the six speed so he put a racing four speed in it.

this moron yapped and yapped and yapped for about an hour.. and of course i just sat there listening hoping to hear him say somethign EVER STUPIDER!!..... now i just feel dumb myself.
however for my first truly "dumbass ricer" encouter... i liked it
 

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There are alot of them out there..
I don't just mean the Ricers,, there are alot of Dumbasses period..
I would tell you the story about this retard Cheesy and I met this weekend at one of the local Sat. night Mini car shows.. But I'd rather him tell it.. He always seems to put better feeling into things like that than I do..

Sorry about the encounter, just be ready for the next one..
Maybe if you work it right.. you could end up racing the next guy for money and Handed him his Ass on a plate...
Now that would be NICE!
 

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You will eventually lose track of all the dumbasses you will meet. Theres a lon g line of them out there.
 

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It's funny how those "blow-hards" have cars that always have something wrong with them when a racing opportunity presents itself.


Sounds like the fastest thing about this guy is his mouth. Just feel fortunate that YOU weren't the one born with his brain.


Everyone else with the slightest bit of sense also sees them for the true waste of atmospheric oxygen that they are.

I've got two words for all these dumb-ass blow-hards... "Wanna' Race?"

It usually either shuts them up, or sends them scrambling into that part of their brain where all the excuses are stored.

Later!
 

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"Empty heads have long tongues."

Bruce Lee - "The Tao of Jeet Kune Do"
 

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he once owned a 71 mustang mach 1 with a modified 351 that he got up to 195 miles an hour. he was in kansas and didn't see a soul for miles and miles so he wanted to open it up. so he is just sitting here on the country road revving the engine... when a "local" in a 67 camaro ss with a blower sticking out of the hood pulls up next to him and revs.. they raced for 27 MILES!!!!!! and when this dumbass put his mach 1 into... SIXTH GEAR!!! and punched it he just left the camaro in the dust. um... okay.... MACH 1'S DONT HAVE SIX SPEEDS!!!!!!!!! and then he got sick of the six speed so he put a racing four speed in it.
...Dude, I think that friend with the Mach 1 is me, I'm from Kansas. This all happened at 2:45am on I-70. It's a phat car isn't it?? In fact, as the 6th gear was redlining near 12 grand, I checked the mirror and I couldn't see that bowtie C*maro anywhere. Then I saw that "objects in this mirror are closer than they appear". Duuude! Do you know what that means, he must really be way back there if I don't see him in this mirror!!!! So them I realized I was coming up on a pack of F-40 Ferrai's. A whole line of them, they musy have been traveling together from a show or something. So I braced myself and hit 7th gear and opened the N20 so I could go baby go!!! Tire smoke poored out from my Mach, I could barely keep it on the road at 240 mph and I slalomed through them like they were orange cones in a construction zone. I think I must have blacked out but but when I came to I couldn't see the Ferrari's anywhere. But I was still going 260mph! So I checked the time and it was only 3:05am, I must have only blanked for a minute. But then I noticed it was daylight....Holy sh***t! I think my stang was so powerful that it actually sped up the earth's rotation for those few moments. Now that's power baby....
 

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Hmmmm, maby you shoud tell him that he needs a driveshaft cooler. tell him it will add like 200 more HP to his ride, that's combined with a superturbocharger.
 

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a roots injected turbo blower on "NOSSS" with aluminum foil crank(super light) and titanium pistons. Have to use heavy cast iron rods for their strength though. The EGR system is set up to open during full throttle in which liquid oxygen is plumbed into the EGR for "super burn" characteristics
 

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I've been dealin with "Dumbasses" for the last 35 years. Ever since I started working around cars. Something about shops seems to attract them, like flys on a gut pile. I've heard a lot of stories like the guy with the 100 mpg carb that the oil companies did in, bought off, paid off, or whatever. (That one appears at least once a year). The one about an exhaust mounted supercharger is new to me but I'm sure it will come around soon enough. Would that be a tubercharger? Maybe with that special carb on that 9.2 second Porche engine in that MachI he would be so fast that if he turned real fast he would drive up his own ass and dissapear and do us all a favor.
 

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I have been cornered by these people before and been forced to listen for a while. I just nood and then beat a retreat as fast as I can.
There is a guys posts I see on another forum and his signature decribes this perfectly.

Never argue with idiots.
They will take you to their level and beat you with experience.
 

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The old "chrome muffler bearing" was always my favorite.... All the "new" guys at the parts store got to go look for one... Poor guy would spend a whole day tryin to chase one down(everyone knew and sent the guy on a wild goose chase)...


Or a radiator cap for a VW beetle... that's a good one too...
 

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Wildcat,

Your continuation of the story was great. I think I laughed "my dumbass" completely off after reading it.

Dale302
 

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I used to work at the airport loadin mail onto commercial flights. When we had new people we would give them a garbage bag and tell them to get a sample of jet wash.

Some of the planes are built with a bow into the fuslage. So the new guys would go around and try to find pieces to help support the plane. They would go around ask different people, they would say no, but I have this or that. It was quite a comic relief. I am sure none of that happens at airports anymore.
 

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We used to send our apprentices to the parts store for a long weight (wait). Sometimes it took them quite a while. A can of compression is good too. And a can of striped paint, a sky hook.....etc
 

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I HATE these guys! You should try having an 8 second sorta street car. They flock to you like mice to cheese & all of them can out run you... but my car's in the shop! Probably a muffler bearing. I worked with a guy that had a 200 MPH Honda. Granted it had a turbo on it but I've been 160 ina car & on a bike... no way! It's a shame these people exist but hey... they're entertaining!
 

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Discussion Starter #18
at least i can get a laugh out of them
 
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