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This is tacky as hell. I love it! Sorry if this offends any of our newer viewers, but I felt it was definitely worth sharing. My suggestion is to let that special someone in your life hear as many of these as possible on that special day in February.
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And now without further ado, The Top Ten Rejected Valentines Day Cards
10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
9. Our love will never become cold and hollow Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.
7. This feels so good, it feels so right I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.
5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!
4. Through all the things that came to pass Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.
3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".
2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!
1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister You should check out the one I gave to your sister!
And now without further ado, The Top Ten Rejected Valentines Day Cards
10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
9. Our love will never become cold and hollow Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.
7. This feels so good, it feels so right I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.
5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!
4. Through all the things that came to pass Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.
3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".
2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!
1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister You should check out the one I gave to your sister!
